Listen Final Mix

Babylon 5

For podcast research purposes, I’ve been watching Babylon 5. The mid-90’s sci-fi Television series. The one that wasn’t Star Trek and made Tron a starship captain.

I watched some of it in its original run during the 4-5 season. My college friend Karl was deep into the show. He would have viewing parties every week as new episodes came out. I experienced the first three seasons vicariously through printouts Karl made from the Lurker’s Guide. I vaguely remember the episodes I did catch.

It was in the early days of the internets. Bab 5 was one of the first TV shows to truly get a boost from interacting with fans on the internet. Series overlord J. Michael Strazinski(JMS) would interact with fans over message groups as early as 1991. Many are archived here.

Series as Visual Novel

JMS wanted to use TV to tell a long-running but complete story. Like a novel with each episode acting as a chapter in the overall story. This hadn’t been done to this extent on American Television. Hill Street Blues had done arcs that lasted throughout each season. But Babylon 5 was conceived as a single story.

One of the problems with this approach is how to keep the audience invested through the early shows before any plot or characters are established. Babylon 5 is a political drama that spans races, each with their own motives and weaknesses. A story like this takes immense amounts of world building to get the plot off the ground.

JMS had to keep plots coming to satisfy episodic tv demands, but needed to also lay ground for future stories. A device was needed to quickly escalate stakes before establishing much about character.

Enter the Babylon 5 Sucka Punch!

Sucka Punch!

To get to quick conflict, JMS heavily relied on one character knocking the shit out of another from nowhere an average of once per episode. I started cataloging these and referring to them as the “Babylon 5 Sucka Punch”.

Definition of “SUCKA PUNCH”

Terminology:
 Sucka: Target of Punch
 Puncha: Puncher
 Viewa: Audience

1. Must come out of nowhere as a surprise
 a. Sucka surprise is most common
 b. Puncha is rarely surprised
 c. Viewa is usually also surprised
    i. Viewa can be “in on the punch” before it happens
    ii. Viewa can be in-show or meta
2. Must connect hit with Sucka
 a. A failed Sucka Punch is pathetic and should be mocked
3. Is not necessarily from a fist
 a. ex… a kick is just a Sucka Punch from the foot
 b. Lazers and knives are also forms of punching
 c. Guns disqualify the Sucka Punch

Babylon 5 Season 1 Sucka Punches By Episode

Following is a description of every scene in B5 season 1 that includes a Sucka Punch. The punches are certainly clustered towards the beginning of the series. Some in the middle feature as many as three Sucka Punches. Considering there are twenty recorded punches and twenty-two episodes - things taper off considerably in the back half.

All scene descriptions paraphrased for humor from episode synopsis on Midwinter.com

Episode 2 Soul Hunter

Right after Delenn leaves the Med Lab, Soul Hunter feigns injury and falls to the floor. The guard who was stationed outside the Med Lab rushes in, but is victimizeds by a Sucka Punch. Soul Hunter escapes gun in hand, with renewed sense of purpose.

Soul Hunter fakes a fall, but makes a Sucka out of the guard

Sucka Punch Count: 1

Episode 3 - Born to the Purple

Trakis, seeing that he has been fooled, attempts to run away - but is stopped by Londo’s fist. Londo searches Trakis’s unconscious body and finds the data crystal without difficulty.

Londo! FTW!

Sucka Punch Count: 2

Episode 4 - Infection

If I didn’t know any better, I might think you were trying to smuggle something in,” comments the attendant on duty. Nelson waits for the appropriate moment, then kills the attendant.

Nelson is no stranger to the ways of the Sucka

“I’m going to try to make it mad,” says Sinclair

Monster takes down Sinclar from behind the hallway
Monster Judo Chop! Not a sucka punch, but good form.

Sucka Punch Count: 4

Episode 6 - Mind War

Bester and Kelsey have meanwhile discovered that Sinclair is attempting to escort Ironheart off of the station.

Sinclair gives Checkov the ol discount facial surgery

Sucka Punch Count: 5

Episode 7 - The War Prayer

Kiron and Aria are sitting in the garden, enjoying the view and enjoying one another’s company, when they are suddenly attacked by the Home Guard. A few human individuals viciously attack the Centauri youths. After the brief attack, they leave as suddenly and as quickly as they came.

I didn't get a good shot of this one. Instead, enjoy this image of Delann at a smoke sesh

As another test of Sinclair’s loyalty, the alien agricultural delegate from Ava IV is brought forward and Sinclair is ordered to kill her. He, of course, hesitates - and during the resulting delay, Garibaldi and his forces break into the room. Malcolm is sucka punched with the aid of Ivanova.

Get off my show, soap opera punk! Kiyaa!

Sucka Punch Count: 7

Episode 8 - And the Sky Full of Stars

Garibaldi finally finds Sinclair, but is utterly surprised when he is shot at by his commander.

But I'm too pretty! Oh!

Franklin believes that Sinclair may have been given large doses of psychotropic drugs and may consequently be delusional or even dangerous. As he disconnects from the machine, the feedback knocks out Knight Two.

You get shocked, Sucka!

Knight One storms into the room, but Sinclair punches him, knocking him out. He picks up a gun and escapes from the room. He is delusional, he mumbles to himself about how the Minbari have broken through and how he must get back to his ship.

This way to the beach, punk!

Sucka Punch Count: 10

Episode 9 - Deathwalker

Na’Toth, who is waiting at the docking bay for a ship to arrive, suddenly notices a certain woman come on board B5. Na’Toth is suddenly seized with rage and runs across the room, shouting, “Deathwalker.” Na’Toth executes a sloppy but effective full-body lunge attack on the visitor.

Dre Alvarez says this is a Sucka Punch. I call shenanigans on the house of Alvarez. Any attack announced that brazenly cannot be categorized as a Sucka Punch.

An announced full-body lunge does not a Sucka punch make.

A Vorlon ship flies through and, to the elation of many of the ambassadors, quickly targets and destroys Jha’dur’s vessel.

"Why?" asks Sinclair.

Sucka Punch Count: 11 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 11 - Survivors

Garibaldi, upon returning to his quarters, is confronted by a security officer. Major Kemmer and Lieutenant Cutter arrive, and Garibaldi pleads with Kemmer to allow him to speak with her. When he moves to grab Kemmer in order to speak with her, the security guard roughly forces him to withdraw his grasp with a swift kick to the jaw.

"Kick is another word for foot punch, Sucka!

Garibaldi narrowly escapes Kemmer’s guards and eventually returns to the human sector of B5, only to be attacked by a group of angry aliens. Just when it appears that Garibaldi has no hope left, Sinclair - who has a deep thirst for punching Suckas - finds him and helps to fight off the aliens.

I thirst for the thrill of the punch!

Kemmer tells Cutter that she wants to scan the bay herself, but Cutter knocks her out. He points a gun at Garibaldi, but when he bends down to recover Kemmer’s weapon, Garibaldi kicks the gun out of his hand. A struggle ensues, but Garibaldi gains the upper hand by landing a surprise sucka hero landing pose on Cutter, completely crushing the heathen’s spine.

Sucka is down for the count!

Sucka Punch Count: 14 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 12 - By Any Means Necessary

Down in the docking bay, when the workers find out that the Senate has invoked the Rush Act, they are angered but are prepared to defend themselves. When Garibaldi arrives with a few security officers, his goofy face incites Sucka Punchin’ and a fight breaks out.

It only takes a single Sucka Punch to start a riot

Sucka Punch Count: 15 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 13 - Signs and Portents

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a huge alien ship, black with spines and dark blue mottling, appears just next to the raider mothership. Without warning or provocation, it slices into the mothership with an intense beam weapon, cutting the raider ship to ribbons within seconds. Cackling with glee, the ship disappears into the… shadows?

Shadows opening salvo in the Suckas Punch wars

Sucka Punch Count: 16 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 14 - TKO

In the corridor, an alien named Caliban tells Smith that there is another way to get into the Mutai. “But it will require respect, and great courage.” Smith is very interested. Then a surly muppet shows up out of nowhere and pops Smith in his stupid mouth.

B5 Muppets are cut from a surlier felt

Sucka Punch Count: 17 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 15 - Grail

Two thugs try to capture Jinxo, but Gajic fights them off. Gajix is a Sucka Punch monk and is able to pull off an S tier behind the back SP with his stick. Mid-fight Sucka Punches are rare, but the fight to this point was all misdirection by these hands away from the surprise stick finish.

Suckas, experience the taste of my wood

Gajic catches up with Jinxo in Downbelow and convinces him to talk to Sinclair if he has information about the Vorlons. Deuce’s men attack; Gajic fends them off long enough for Jinxo to escape, but is captured himself.

Never bring a stick to an electric stick fight

Sucka Punch Count: 19 Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Episode 19 - A voice in the Wilderness pt II

Garibaldi performs a magic trick of his own, assaulting the mouthy bar patron and stalking off.

Some Days, well... the bar eats you, Sucka!

Final Sucka Punch Count: 20 Final Lunge-grapple attack Count: 1

Final Thoughts

All this is to say I’ve had a fascinating experience cataloging all the Sucka Punches in the first season of Babylon 5. I’m three seasons in as I write this post and it definitely shifts to more “space opera” and less “space smugglers hitting each other with sticks”.

Season one of B5 feels pretty trashy compared to later seasons. More of a Dr. Who cheap BBC set vibe than TNG quality. But that quality sings with a well placed Sucka Punch to manufacture cheap plot momentum.

While we would eventually lose the frequent punch, we get deeper connections between the characters. After spending multiple seasons with G’Kar, you understand him as more of a sympathetic character and less of a buffoon. Same with Londo, but in a completely different way. The plot drivers can become much more subtle than Sucka Punches when you are invested.

Looking forward to releasing so many more of my thoughts on B5 with the podcast coming out soon. We recorded an episode discussing the B5 Sucka Punch that will either be the pilot or bonus content. Look out for the “You Gotta Check This Out” Podcast in all podcast feeds starting in July of 2025.

Early rejected podcast logo